I think my life is just too busy. I’m rushing back to back my full-time work, travelling, web design projects, my church projects, my own pet projects, etc. etc. Come to think of it, i’ve been living such a life ever since i graduated from uni, and if i calculate properly, i think i’ve been living such a life ever since after my military service. WOW 8 years! Often its 4 – 5 hours of sleep, then a coma session periodically. Its not funny and i think i’m coming to hate this lifestyle.
I’ve been so busy that i think i’ve neglected alot of people, from my immediate family, to my extended family, my close friends, my church friends whom i see all the time but hardly got time to hangout with, and not to mention the lack of new friends. Aiyoh… My wife always say she feels like a furniture at home, cuz i hardly spend time with her and when i do, i talk about work. How terrible a husband can i be. But i’m glad although my wife is not happy with the situation, but still appreciative and understanding enough to know i’m working hard to provide for the family.
Even for my own parents i can only manage to go to their place maybe just once every 2 – 3 months (i know thats terrible), but because i work with my parents i see them everyday, so don’t really miss them, but i better plan more visits for the sake of my kids. My in-law’s side is slightly better, cuz my wife puts in effort to visit family and at times we just hang out at her grandma’s place, but when we get there i’m usually so tired and have naps there. Just as well, cuz the the aunts and my wife hit it off very well together with my wife’s sis and they talk about anything and everything in the room and all the uncles are in the other room playing Mahjong. lol.
I loved the army when i was in it, maybe i should have signed on to be a regular, cuz the pay is definately better initially and there is already a well planned out career path and if you do well, you can really go far. My brother in law is in the airforce and if i’m not wrong he is an instructor and he recently graduated from his part-time degree course, wow work and upgrading at the same time, how i hope i can do that too.
My cousin runs his own business and his life is doing well too, cuz he can do anything that he wants while earning good money. He only need to do one thing, so he can focus all his energy and ideas in it. But for me i’m in 2 industries, web and toilet, i wonder how many people in the world have this strange combination. lol.
I hope I can spend more time to bring the kids out, go Sentosa, go Botanic Gardens (my in-laws went recently and it seems to be a happening place), go to grandma’s place, go overseas for holiday… aiyoh… now when there is time, i just try to catch up on my sleep. *sigh*
I think maybe because i got 2 kids, maybe because i really want to do more internet stuff… midlife crisis? i dunno… anyway i better change my lifestyle soon… somehow… else i’ll rot in my room with my computer…
somehow, at any point in time, in our lives. we should always stop to think. rethink. re-rethink what we’re doing.
some people deal with having too much fun. some people deal with having nothing to do. some people deal with boredom. and some people deal with doing too much.
and that’s all you’re doing.
no mid-life crisis at all. that’s just the world’s excuse for not wanting to think about life.
interesting reflection. I understand ur frustration in not being able to meet people or often enough, and being able to do things you want.
I guess our personal schedules can be summed up as a ‘wallet’ – wise Mel Foong taught me this.
You see I bought this new wallet hoping that it could fit all my cards. Sadly the swanky new wallet didnt look so swanky with all e cards bursting out, so Mel emptied out the wallet leaving only the ‘necessary/essential cards.’ I argued with her that I needed certain ‘privledge’ cards inside the wallet. She replied ‘How often do you use these cards? Otherwise just lump it together with a rubberband & keep it safe somewhere.’
It sounded pretty logical, and I realised that life’s really like that. It’s about priorities and things that should be categorised as ‘periodical.’
Man…after reading your entry, it reminds me of my current life with heavy schedules too…can’t breathe…:( burnt out totally
Don’t worry god will make a way for you =)
The grass is always greener on the other side.