Psalm 4:4-5

“In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.

Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the LORD.”
~ Psalm 4:4-5

I hardly get angry and when i do, i don’t like it. Never did manage to handle my anger properly.

I don’t go on a rage, i don’t explode (although i would like to), I implode.

I remember I had an Indian tutor in my early secondary school days and I addressed her as Mrs Pandian. She was old and wise, she was one of the tutors i gave no trouble to. I respected her.

She hardly knew me as we never talked about stuff other then school work (at least from what i can remember), but one day out of the blue, she told me something that i never did forget. It went something like “Nicholas, you are a very good boy & you have a very good heart, you keep things to yourself even when you are angry. I see you like a volcano, you keep on keeping things inside & one day, you will need to explode & if you do, alot of people around you will be hurt. Its not going to be nice. So don’t explode ok, ask Jesus to help you.”

I never forgot those words. When ever i felt angry, these words came back naturally.

Its been many years, i’ve been angry with many people.

This time its different.

This time i’m angry at myself.