Author: Nick Pan

The world comes to a stop
While her cries are the only sounds left
Picking her up, comforting her
That’s all I could do

I try to communicate
But words are useless

It seems that a mind that is peaceful
a love that is calm and
a soothing confident rhythm
can make that bad dream go away

“We have grown too accustomed to a perspective of reality that it has warped reality itself.” ~ nickpan

Added a snail pix to the main page. hmm… a bit no meaning… but i think its nice. ;D I took this picture at NTU on a rainy morning in Dec 2001. (btw I don’t study at NTU)

Do give me some comments on the pix.

Of late, my state of mind has been somewhat loitering in the vicinity of nirvana. I don’t seem to see the next step after contentment.

From our schooling days, we were told to study well in order to get a good grade. If we got a B, lets try for an A, if we got an A lets try for an A star, since we can get a star, why not try for a perfect score? It’s the same when we are released into the commercial world of employers and employees, we try to get promoted and get a better salary, if that’s not enough, lets start a business of our own.

There seem to be a progressive trend in all this. We set out goals and after achieving those goals, we create new goals to achieve, but can we ever come to the end of this achievement pattern? Can we ever be contented? If so, what is after contentment?

*pause for dramatic effect*

Heaven in my faith is the final resting place, a place of complete bliss, a place where hope is no longer needed, a place of reward for those who have done well in their lives, a place for the faithful. But then what is the next destination after heaven?

If life is a process, a journey for experiences, then there must be a destination in this process. Can the end be in the process or can the end be but a process?

*pause for recollection of thoughts*

If its true that we are actually trapped in a process of never ending achievements, trapped in a journey of repetition, trapped in a cycle of social economical propaganda, then wouldn’t succumbing to it be throwing away the key. Wouldn’t we need to rethink our value system? Wouldn’t something out of the norm set us free?

There is death in contentment. But then death may not be the end of it all.

To the background of gentle Bossa Nova raindrops I close my eyes and see a woman in white looking up to the sky while moving to the pitter patter in a soulful mood. Allowing the rain to fall on her face as she embraces heaven.

What makes a woman woman? And what is femininity?

I like the way a woman moves, from the old peranakan lady pulling her little market trolley crossing the streets in Katong to the sophisticated woman in power suits and tight skirts strolling along Shenton Way during lunch time.

I like the perseverance of woman, the single mothers bringing their kid to pre school before going to work and picking them up after work, the intelligent wife supporting their seasonal egoistic husbands, the spinster who works hard to save up for a lonely retirement, the hardworking student copying down lecture notes while having a bad day of period cramps.

Femininity is not just looking good and behaving classy, but to me its more like a similar trait that all woman have. The attention to detail, the sensitivity, the shyness, the unending quest to look nicer and many others.

Woman are to be respected, appreciated and loved.